alan mustache
@danglinghemmie.bsky.social
we're all worms
people who touch your shoulder when they're talking to you should be hunted like rabid dogs
paul frazee hasn't left trailer six in a week he's just going on and on about federating the FEMA camps
that's like 200 grams of carbs, so not too far off what that guy is putting into two bottles
i like that people still pretend the groups are mutually exclusive
yeah I don't fuck with it because I'm not racing, that shit runs though me
this is like main avi six or seven, thinking skald is gone for good now though
there's something goofy about the minds who are drawn to the type 2 fun of endurance sports
true but we get the posts from triathletes whose bikes are visibly covered in dry piss
(breathing so heavily it wakes the cat) i have never seen a sexy booby on blue sky
on the bike you basically want all simple carbs to keep your performance up. when you're done you brush your teeth and eat like a grown-up
nothing is funnier to me than how cyclists talk about their sugary water recipes
a worm tried to eat my brain but it died of food poisoning
east coast stylin
body like a stallion
if you like piss i produce it by the gallon
started burning my plastic waste to keep it out of the watershed #gaia
today's intrusive thought: eventually a computer chair is gonna have the cylinder explode upward when i sit on it
i made a flag in my head. it's a milky white background with two large breasts over a banner reading "E Pluribus Boobum." this is how i satisfy myself
got a chest tattoo of an upside down american flag but when i look down at the damn thing it looks like it's right side up. how did the gays make this happen to me
most damning part is alito out and out saying he's a christian right partisan on the bench lol
*musk popping another xannie* what if dropping the n-bomb could stop an n-bomb
millennial forrest gump standing over jenny's grave. *gump voice* "the doctors say she took somethin called fenn tuh nill"
millennial forrest gump as a usaf drone pilot stationed in carson city nevada flying a mission over afghanistan. *gump voice* i didn't understand why those people seemed so upset when we dropped fireworks on their weddings"
millennial forrest gump crowd surfing at woodstock 99 as the riot begins to spread
millennial forrest gump as a usaf drone pilot stationed in carson city nevada flying a mission over afghanistan. *gump voice* i didn't understand why those people seemed so upset when we dropped fireworks on their weddings"
millennial forrest gump walking around ground zero on 9/11 absent-mindedly rescuing firefighters while looking for the fixed gear bike he left locked outside the world trade center. *gump voice* "then it started snowing"
millennial forrest gump walking around ground zero on 9/11 absent-mindedly rescuing firefighters while looking for the fixed gear bike he left locked outside the world trade center. *gump voice* "then it started snowing"
got banned from r/velo for posting my "indexed shifting is neo-fascism" screed