Felonious Monk ๐
@feloniousmonk.bsky.social
Former futurist. Pithy profane pundit. Avid alliterator. I'm just like trying to find my way, man.
Bad Dad jokes, bipolar, poetry, writing, and various types of musings.
https://thefeloniousmonk.com
Discord: thefeloniousmonk
Ha! Ha! Comedy!
Trevor Moore - High in Church - Time For Guillotines
Download Trevor Moore: High in Church for $5 on CC:Direct: http://cc.com/direct Download Trevor Moore: High in Church Album: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/high-in-church/id970207098?ign-mpt=uo%3D4
www.youtube.comYep. In the top 5 of shitty local jails.
Fulton County Jail is a fucking. Human rights violation and the people responsible for that are undeserving of their own freedom.
Exactly the point of my previous post.
It cannot be the case that economic statistics are positive but the majority of people are worse off. That's not how statistics work. Almost everyone who says they were better off under Trump is objectively, factually wrong. It's hard to know how to do persuasion when actual facts are irrelevant.
Anyways, here's a dick joke.
I used to value being informed, being a pundit. Now I just look around at the world in the kind of daze that soldiers feel after a bomb lands nearby, and decide it's best for me to just go back inside.
I used to value being informed, being a pundit. Now I just look around at the world in the kind of daze that soldiers feel after a bomb lands nearby, and decide it's best for me to just go back inside.
It's a defense mechanism for me these days to retreat into shitposts and horny humor. We live in a world where right wingers accuse the NYT of being a leftist rag, while the NYT is competing for throat goat to fascists and warmongers. There is no truth, only pro-billionaire talking points. I'm lost.
It's a defense mechanism for me these days to retreat into shitposts and horny humor. We live in a world where right wingers accuse the NYT of being a leftist rag, while the NYT is competing for throat goat to fascists and warmongers. There is no truth, only pro-billionaire talking points. I'm lost.
"No need to talk it out
We know what it's all about"
"No, that's not how therapy works, Karen. Honestly answer the question."
Hey Porn Industry:
Start jamming cheese into every goddamn crevice
Hey Pizza Industry:
Stop jamming cheese into every goddamn crevice and just make a solid pizza .
These niche OnlyFans accounts are getting weirder by the day.
this has to be the least compelling pitch of all time
Any post can be a horny post if you're rubbing your junk while making it.
My analysis of growing income inequality? Horny.
Decrying the endless abuses of cops? So horny.
Comparing the effects of psych meds? Horny horny horny.
Cyberpunk 2077 has a non-stop banger soundtrack that I've been trying to track down all the songs for.
Everyone should think back to their awkward bumbling first time and think to themselves "Is that what I want in a lover?"
Dudes who treat body count like a used product are fucking weird. It's a service position, and I'm trying to hire an expert specialist, not a fucking intern.
Before Bluesky I hadn't had a social media space that was just mine, for years. They were all scrutinized under the weight of a public persona that had grown to be an oppressive responsibility. I came here and got to be nobody, and in doing so, let me freely express myself in a way I'd forgotten.
With the help of significant cannabis products (including a topical THC lotion!), I've regained about 90%+ of the range of motion back. Dropped from 3 sessions a day to 2. Definitely getting there.
Yeah, I've been in PT for two months now for a frozen shoulder, so feel that pain.
Thank god for 1:1 shit, it's been a game changer. I'll normally pack a bowl half and half with that and a good indica.
I go to sleep with a 5mg chocolate every night. But my worst convos with god have come from homecooked eddies that we got the mix wrong on.
About to smoke that chronic, that dank shit, that got me paranoid worried about home intrusions shit, that shivering under the blankets promising god I'm gonna quit smoking weed shit god damn what the fuck did y'all kids do to weed? This shit used to be fun.
I am fucking crying at the accuracy.
I watch this about once a month because it's perfect
If my post was funny, it was a joke to make you laugh. If it wasn't funny, it's experimental prose and you just don't get it.
When I think about a 100% video based social platform, I shiver in horror.
Doctors recommend it.
Legit snickered.
iโll never get to fuck anyoneโs brains out bc i only sleep with himbos ๐
I have spent at least 60 seconds trying to figure out this metaphor and I still have no idea.
Is your butthole a ring bearer, cause I wanna stretch it like butter over toast
I'm reminded of the time that The Mighty Mighty Bosstones took on the horrors of gun violence by writing "Helluva Hat".
The 90s were truly a simpler time.
I just assumed that's what every Norwegian black metal album is about.
Gatekeeping apps by age is stupid. I use Discord for both fun and business. I use Snapchat because it's fun and I like spooky filters and nudes. I like TikTok...well, actually, the kids can keep that one.
I may have to go buy a can of it sometime just to see if with my current level of culinary skill, I can make it taste...well, if not good, then at least edible.
I know my Mom was trying to make sure we got veg even though we were poor, but I think a lot of my unhealthy relationship with food was born there.
Of all the times I have been blocked for a reply, this is perhaps the strangest.
This and the canned 3 bean salad with waxed beans were fucking nightmares to eat as a kid.
Amazing that they took a number of ingredients which are all great fresh, and turned them into the flavor of grey.
No lies, friend. Perhaps you just haven't found yours yet.
And the potatoes had a mushy gritty texture that still causes a little gag in the back of my throat just thinking about it.
Oh jesus fuck, I can taste the nasty plastic flavored milk water they came in.
My strong sense of self esteem combined with my crushing depression is how I know for a fact that I'm the best ever at being a piece of shit.