Jonely Bonely

Ask chat gpt to dream playing chi sao with your elders.

Last night I dreamt I got to play Chi Sao with some elders 🥋

There are three levels of burn: going in, in, and going out.

But it hurt so good, n'est-ce pas?

We’ve all been there. We have a place (“Thai kun”, get it?!) and this is all the warning you get that your ass is about to turn in to an upside down volcano. The kinder of the waitstaff will help you gauge your options.

1. I’m exhausted.

dk @portdrift.bsky.social

"this is a horny check, post your last saved image" smh, why can't we all just state plainly and clearly our horny level on a scale of one to ten. everything's a game around here. 4

5 hours ago

You want it all. But you can’t have it.

Beats bees nutz I guess at least?

Bring back (somewhat) hairy men. There I said it.

Who among us…

Dear Bethesda employees and board members. I think you should know that the Darkfall Passage level in Skyrim sucks donkey balls in terms of its design and execution, as do each of your mothers (which should go without saying but for the sake of completeness). Lmk if any further feedback would help.

In TX there is quite a diaspora of cultures that feature occasionally insanely hot cuisine and there has emerged a tentative general understanding that you can order a dish “spicy” or {insert original culture} “spicy” and the latter indicates you know what you are doing and accept responsibility

I mean she *could* but if you ever seen her well lubricated…

Saw this, thought of @dangertits.bsky.social

Miss piggy will help you if you get her drunk first.

Meanwhile guys are always telling you how powerful the one bone is.

This would make a great episode of Hot Ones.

Then unhinge it. Swallow the rodent whole. Now relax for a few days as it works its way through your digestive tract.

Always called it a Burt Shirt but Burtkin is better

Start small! Just remember to have fun with it.

This is the way

I’ll honk bobo on main. IDGAF.

The Meow-Tang Clan

Wrote this ditty:
🎶🎵let’s go down to the barnyard
Find a chicken and do an unnatural act…
And if grandpa comes a lookin’
We’ll turn him over and poke him
In the crack! 🎶🎶🎵

To the tune of Riki Don’t Lose That Number…

🎵🎶 Kiki don’t honk that bobo 🎵🎵

(I’m very sorry)

@kiki.whitecanof.monster @badboy.wifeguy.online

Putting Banzai Buddy on their communicators.

And also thine butthole (Thessalonians 14:12)

That’s a bangin’ gang if you get my meaning.

My sister and I have no mutual non family friends but we are very close and get our kids together a lot.

I always get him and Rowdy Roddy Piper mixed up for some reason.

My company was throwing one away and I took it home, it changed my life.

So, for about 90 seconds at a time after finding the perfect step mommy anal scene?

Lightsaber nunchucks. Just sayin.

The funniest one was a pic of Sydney Powell leaning over and whispering in his ear and somebody captioned it as her saying “there’s diarrhea leaking from your skull”

Looks amazing

Damn, this band Lake Street Dive does not miss.

youtu.be/bn6pKkS6auU?...

Lake Street Dive - Good Together

Lake Street Dive - "Good Together" [Official Music Video] Official Music Video for Lake Street Dive "Good Together" New album "Good Together" out June 21 202...

youtu.be

Every single person in this picture has given herpes to every other person in this picture.

Matt Novak @paleofuture.bsky.social

Arizona needs to get the Geoguessr guy onto Rudy so they can track him down.

2 days ago

Do NOT want to see the documentary about how she learned “duodenum”

Not *yet*…

I kinda almost want to be the person they bring in to clean this up. Like, you can’t make it any *worse*. The bar is so low…

Sometimes we just have to be our own jizz artists.

This whole record is pretty great

Oh, you’ll know in a few hours.

🥲😢😭

Yes, there is one at the low water crossing near my kids’ elementary school. But that’s the only one I remember seeing, and there are a *lot* of low water crossings where I live 😬

His scenes in Modern Problems were pretty epic too.

Can’t. Dad posted a “no soliciting” sign on our front door.