illumi

no there was a thing with his daughter that’s still in court.

Absolutely that yeah

Oh I like where your heads at. Teamwork.

You’d think it’d be that simple. You really would.

Like that’s why they made everyone have two hands right

This but for my balls. One in each hand preferably. Just to avoid chafing. Nothing crazy.

okay i don’t say this lightly but i should literally be allowed to beat the pedophile umpire with a hammer

illumi @illumi.me

one of the little league umps in town got banned from a ballpark for sending dick pics to a bunch of the moms and my first thought was “wow it’s like bluesky in real life”

17 hours ago

Same but I want more madness

one ballpark... so far

computer how do I delete someone else'̶s̶ ̶p̶o̶s̶t̶

knew it

Link. @knilirabaj.bsky.social

Maybe I was lying and space law is fake.

10 hours ago

SHOW ME THE MADNESS

art

whatever close enough

how it feels to have successfully trolled that cringy joker account before he self immolated

illumi @illumi.me

how it feels to have successfully trolled that cringey joker account before it got banned

11 hours ago

oh he self immolated hold on

how it feels to have successfully trolled that cringey joker account before it got banned

“That” yellow?…

This mf got yellow cum

(It was piss. Your mom has a piss fetish.)

I had your mother looking like I left a melting stick of butter on her lower back.

Can anyone else hear my heartbeat

me balancing my caffeine and weed intake to make it through monday

like the presidential medal of freedom or a nobel peace prize

farner @farnerb0cken.bsky.social

whoever invented the bread bowl should face consequences

1 day ago

thank god we incarcerated all the lizards

vaxxed?

metaphors are always good. they should use them more in cinema.

what if one lived in a panzer

godzilla always seemed so unrealistic to me. like do lizards even get that big

a doctor pimple popper video but it never ends

okay well then maybe he did simply wish to suck

look you're missing the point for the time being

if i was going to become the joker i'd pick a version that didn't completely suck. like ledgers. or romeros. or nicholsons. or phoenixs. or any of the cartoon versions. or any of the comic book versions. or any of the versions that aren't jared leto.

I'm not emotionally unbalanced (fat). Don't put in the newspaper that I was emotionally unbalanced (fat).

for one of my side gigs I run a company twitter with 140K followers and the tweets usually get like 30-60 likes and 3K views lol

Don't listen to Paul folks, my every thought is itself a condensed manifesto

Creeptogrophy

I know there's plenty of lawyers on this app rearing to answer fun new questions

so do I just stick it in the disk drive or

damn girl more like a mommyboard

hitting on the ai beauty pageant contestants until i figure out a way to make a computer uncomfortable

In Indiana you only have two choices as a child: Work the mines or become compost

Brit.

It started way worse but I’m not going to get into that because it’s still a civil matter.

one of the little league umps in town got banned from a ballpark for sending dick pics to a bunch of the moms and my first thought was “wow it’s like bluesky in real life”

PREACH

Absolutely real

Not today tho. Holding the L today.