Lord Juiblex

Everything reminds me of her.

Thank you. 😁

The internet: You know you're old if you've ever mailed a postcard! Ha ha!

Me: I mailed four postcards today. 😳

Back of postcard...

Another postcard for a friend not on Bluesky.

Close call. 😁

Oh wait, you're serious? There was a name associated with it. A.M. were the initials. There's a messaging tool associated with Etsy. I sent you a message to say I mailed the postcard. 😁

I'll try my best. 😐

Thank you. 😁

On the back...

Postcard for a friend not on Bluesky.

This is the kind of thinking that saves lives. 🤔

Crayons, magnifying glass, ants. I did this as a kid. It was fun. No regrets. Not a serial killer. Probably. 🤔

There was an ants' nest in my backyard, right outside our sliding door. I heard on the internet that you can take a huge pot of boiling water and dump it on a nest and kill it that way. I did it. It's my personal Hiroshima. I still think about it. 😭

Not even joking.

They are eating my dead skin. This is like that shark with the fish in its mouth cleaning the teeth, but me with ants in my pants.

YOU ARE COFFEE NOW, DOG

MAYBE THE ANTS CONSENTED TO BE IN MY PANTS. YOU DON'T KNOW.

Thank goodness Peta is out there making the world safe for *checks notes* imaginary ants. 😊👍

If you're coffee doesn't come with stats like a D&D character, I'm not buying it.

I have become the guy who only buys single source coffee, preferably light roast, because one two week vacation in Bogota, Colombia broke my mind.

I swear to god, giving away free stuff is almost as challenging as selling stuff.

Me on Facebook freebie group: Who wants a glass cookie jar?
Human: I do.
Me: It's yours. Pick it up here.
H: Cool!
*24 hours pass*
Me: You going to pick it up?
H: Sorry. Got busy. Will do it today.
*another 24 hours*
Me: NOW YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PUT YOUR COOKIES SOMEPLACE ELSE MOTHERFUCKER

My wife keeps reminding me that videogames are fun and I am allowed to have fun. 😁👍

More like Don McNeverStandsUp.

I try not to let video games gobble up my entire life but it's difficult.

Walking home from somewhere in Quebec late at night. I look across the river to Ottawa. The city is on fire, plumes of smoke billowing from buildings. Crowds are staring. I ask what happened.The PM was giving a presentation and there was a terrorist attack and no one knows if he's alive. #dream

Assassin's Creed: Odyssey. Man I love sneaking up on people and murdering them.

Perfect. I was going to say no one is going to remember any of this in 5 minutes, but you seem to get that. Now I am going to sleep. Have a pleasant whatever time it is.

Oh well. Now what? 🤔

People are upset about AI and large language models and all that. You probably will make more friends if you talk about something less controversial, like abortion. 😐

I'll try. 😁👍

Comic I drew in 2017.

If only the bugs under my skin that control my thoughts would listen to my prayers. 😕

I kind of picture him as a soldier in Vietnam. And the moustache would help. 🤔

Postcard. (Might try selling it on my shop instead of mailing it out randomly.)

Got this in the mail (friend bought in a thrift shop) and now I have to decide how to fuck it up.

Eating burnt plastic to jumpstart an evolutionary leap in my biology so I can survive the impending apocalypse.

Semi-ethical? 🤔

This is a business opportunity. You give me your loved one's skull, I help pay for the funeral for the rest of the body. I clean the skull and sell it. Win, win, win.

I get scared when IPAs hit alcohol percentages that are double digits. Science asked if they could, but never asked if they should. 😳

Everything is porn if you have the right fetish.™

Also, this letter from my mother should be in The Passive Aggressive Museum as a perfect example of the art form. 😁

In a letter chastising me, my mother meant to write, "We are all trying to get along." But what she actually wrote, with pen on paper, is "We are all trying to get ALONE."

And no one has summarized our family dynamic better than with this one amazing Freudian slip.

Why are you saying no to hidden paths? 😕

Flasks, need a permit. You might make drugs. Guns, we trust you. You're probably not going to shoot up a school.

We are some special boys.

Oh no. My thoughts. I can hear them. I do not like these.