Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot.bsky.social
If Donald Trump Jr. were replaced by a hot dog dipped in pubic hair, would anyone notice?
In response to the guilty verdict in Hunter Biden's trial on gun charges, Democrats across the country are not threatening to start a civil war.
BREAKING: After Hunter Biden is found guilty, exactly zero Democrats are threatening to start a civil war.
(Donald Trump, 34 felony convictions.)
Republicans: "The system is rigged!"
(Hunter Biden, 3 felony convictions.)
Republicans: "The system works!"
Contrary to what we were told by the Wonderful World of Disney, lemmings are not oblivious creatures who are driven to their own destruction by blindly following the delusions of their leaders. Republicans, on the other hand…
On the background screen at a Trump rally, supporters posted an image of John Lennon, the one dead person even less likely than Jesus to support Donald Trump.
There isn't much you can rely on in this unpredictable world, but one thing you can be certain of is that, no matter the time or day, Donald Trump Jr. is somewhere being an insufferable douchebag.
Sadly, Mike Pence not voting for the guy who tried to lynch him is as ballsy as today's Republican Party gets.
Getting Republicans to believe a hoax that reinforces their prejudices is infinitely easier than getting them to believe a fact that doesn't.
Sometimes it seems like the only real purpose for Senate hearings is for Republicans to show what assholes they are.
If only there'd been some indication that Clarence Thomas was unworthy of the Supreme Court.
Nothing makes Senate Republicans happier than blocking a bill that protects women.
The Republican idea of birth control is letting Republicans control who gives birth.
Jim Jordan, who defied a congressional subpoena, wants to charge Hunter Biden with contempt of Congress for defying a congressional subpoena.
When Congress is full of hypocrites like Jim Jordan, contempt is the only reasonable response.
If Democrats really wanted to troll Donald Trump, they would pass a law preventing felons from riding Air Force One.
I'm old enough to remember when Republicans would occasionally tell the truth, if only to make it harder to know when they were lying.
The fact that they would rather pay the legal fees of a convicted felon than the student loans of an English teacher tells you all you need to know about the illiterate criminals who make up the Republican Party.
Matt Gaetz is terrible at blackjack because he always hits on 16.
SUPER DUPER MEGA FUN FACT: Donald Trump wasn't convicted by Soros-funded lawyers, activist judges, or Democratic politicians. He was convicted by American citizens.
According to a rumor I just started, Lauren Boebert is quitting Congress to spend more time with her son's parole officer.
If you're the kind of person who takes their sick child to the doctor instead of the village idiot, listen to Dr. Fauci instead of Marjorie Taylor Greene.
If you're the kind of person who takes their sick child to the doctor instead of the village idiot, listen to Dr. Fauci instead of Marjorie Taylor Greene.
Republicans are still trying to use county-by-county maps to "prove" America supports Donald Trump, but the only thing they prove is morons take up too much space.
The free speech party is the don't say gay party is the lock her up party is the don't lock him up party is the you can't make me get vaccinated party is the you can't have an abortion party is the law and order party is the support a felon party.
PREDICTION: Before Pride Month is over, Republicans will have boycotted every product, store, beverage, snack food, movie, TV show, musician, performer, clothing item, activity, company, and organization that doesn't hate the same people they do.
Trump's lawyers: "We're not getting paid a fucking cent, are we?"
NO OFFENSE DADDY BUT IF I VISIT YOU IN PRISON I'M GOING TO WANT A GUARD PRESENT.
Republicans: "Trump! Trump! Trump!"
(Trump convicted of sexual assault.)
Republicans: "Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump!"
(Trump convicted of 34 felonies.)
Republicans: "TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUUUUUUUUMP!"
The "fuck your feelings" crowd are having 34 times the feelings.
BREAKING: VHS is making a comeback so Steven Seagal's latest film can be released straight to it.
The law and order party doesn't care much for either anymore.
SUPER FUN FACT: Even if the jury is hung, the defendant isn't.
LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP LOCK HIM UP... (1 of 71643)
"I see enough of that loser on television." - Melania Trump on why she hasn't appeared in court during her husband's trial
IDEA: The Secret Service agents who deleted texts from January 6 to protect Donald Trump should protect him in prison.