you don’t actually have to though. they’re just for funsies :)
*setting up my fake duck on the porch for tomorrow*
booking a domestic-abuse-compatible hotel room
im getting scared.. can someone cover my eyes?
i’m
⚪️ single
⚪️ taken
🔘 glad my mom died
i’m
⚪️ single
⚪️ taken
🔘 gonna break my rusty cage and run
Are you convenient? Like do you fit in a small bucket
man, i would, really, but my bosom is already empty
bro are you still experiencing anxiety? i've moved on from anxiety... to anxiety 2.
it's hard to take this seriously w/o the ring
what the hell is going on
Wordle 1,060 6/6
⬜🟨⬜🟨🟩
🟩⬜🟩⬜🟩
🟩⬜🟩⬜🟩
🟩⬜🟩⬜🟩
🟩⬜🟩⬜🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
maybe we could just burn the forests to get rid of the carbon
*attending your orgy*
is Diet Pepsi okay?
*attending your orgy
I'm sorry, can you ask people to keep their socks on?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
(GASP)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
happy mothers day! good luck catching moths or
whatever y’all do
filing this with getting covid to build immunity against covid
SpaceGate!!
(please god call it spacegate)
alt text: it’s the bdsm pride flag! ❤️🏓🏏➰🔗⛓️🍑🖤🎀🎗️🕯️🛏️🗜️➿
yeah i got excited and posted before i remembered to add the alt 💀
they should have used this one if they wanted me to walk all over it
is it the gay shortcuts? or gay go fast?
(roller could still be useful for loose beard hairs)
next time bring a sticky roller. and just roll him
if he was cool he’d drop in via parachute
guys there’s some weird shit in the sky
Target is like: if ur fat u must be short. I need to go to the Fat’n’Tall store
sitting idly by and wondering if i should say something for my entire life
i’m a bit of an ankle-biter
not bc i’m short, i just get real low
so close! ✨ that is bread
so swole he hoist the petard rather than the other way around
i don’t know if you know this but instagram facebook door hook hand car door
delivery by whenever we fuckin feel like it
brb changing my profile pic
i will remember this. the clapping doesn’t always get enough attention!
*eight minutes until the orgy is scheduled to end*
me: *walking, clapping* come on people! Let's wrap it up!
