Rob Graham
@spidey004.bsky.social
Am I strong? Listen, bud. I have radioactive blood. So, no. I’m quite weak and sick. (I’m a he/him but all pronouns are welcome!)
Great job, fellas. Don’t let anybody tell you to herb your enthusiasm.
Lethargic and uninspired? Feel free to use this tip!
Whenever I find myself in a creative rut, I simply think to myself “Stop it! Just make something wholly original and appealing to a wide and varied audience, you worthless crap-factory!” Then I punch myself in the face a few times and create!
Enjoy this sneak peek at my latest campaign… soon to be appearing on unwanted, unavoidable, and unrelenting pop-up ads for your browser. #Putrescent 👃🤢
ME: Looks like I won’t be able to make it in today. My car didn’t start.
BOSS: Oh, that’s too bad. Well, good lu— Wait. Did you TRY to start it?
ME: …….. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.
Duck Bloodletting
(This also works as a warning. “Duck! Bloodletting!”)
Don’t tell Campbell’s®, but their CHUNKY® Duck Blood Soup is so good, I would have done this ad for free! 🦆🩸🥣 😋
(By the way… if you’re wondering why it’s chunky, think clots.)
Ever see a freight train go by and think to yourself, “Godspeed, noble locomotive. And thank you for hauling our building materials, metals, agricultural products, plastics, auto parts, food products, chemicals, fertilizers, machinery, and construction debris.” No? What the hell is wrong with you?
A “Like” doesn’t seem like enough to convey my reaction, so I’d like to tell you that this made me laugh in an out-loud manner.
My gosh, you’re right! That *is* Tezcatlipocatopolis. I didn’t recognize him without his belt.
Checking out the latest reviews on TripAdvisor for my bed & breakfast: "Smells like diapers" "Bald dude is creepy AF" "Milk Duds for breakfast???" Whew! Nobody mentioned the bedbugs! 😅
Time for another hilarious joke with wide-ranging mainstream appeal!
I’d advise going sooner rather than later. It’s not exactly lighting up the box office. I went last night because my wife and I will be on vacation soon and I was afraid it might be gone when we got back.
We have an accord. Just saw it last night. While I think it could have been trimmed a bit here and there, I had a terrific time and just kept thinking, “Man, this is a movie made for me.”
Vive la difference! On the other hand, it’s also nice to share the same opinion on movies, such as one you saw recently and I saw last night. 🙌
I’ve been growing my hair out for over a year now, too. This is where it’s at.
I’ve been growing my hair out for over a year now. This is where it’s at. For some reason, the hair on my left side is curly and poofy and the hair on my right side is straight and lays down much flatter.
The only way to find out is…
Our episode on A View to a Kill is out! @michaelmay.bsky.social, Karen, & I had a lot to talk about: the theme song, whether this was a worthy conclusion to Roger Moore’s tenure as Bond, and whether any of us had fantasies about Grace Jones throwing us around. (Turns out one of us did. But who???)
New Episode! @spidey004.bsky.social, Karen Flieger, and I dance into the fire and board the iceberg submarine to talk about Roger Moore's final performance as James Bond in A View to a Kill.
www.afterlunchpodcast.net/2024/05/281-...
Our episode on A View to a Kill is out! @michaelmay.bsky.social, Karen, & I had a lot to talk about: the theme song, whether this was a worthy conclusion to Roger Moore’s tenure as Bond, and whether any of us had fantasies about Grace Jones throwing us around. (Turns out one of us did. But who???)
My 13% winning percentage at Solitaire more than makes up for getting snubbed by the Employee of the Month Committee 97 months in a row.
Full disclosure, I made this joke with a still picture months ago. But now that we have GIFs I thought it was worth a reskweet.
Thank you for your time and attention to this important matter.
Just for laughs, when I’m walking and I hear footsteps behind me, I like to whip around and give whomever’s approaching one of these. And they like it so much, they fall on their butts and rapidly crab-walk backwards in appreciation.
Body Snatchers Point GIF
Alt: Donald Sutherland from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. He has a horrified/horrifying expression on his face and he’s pointing directly at YOU.
media.tenor.comJust for laughs, when I’m walking and I hear footsteps behind me, I like to whip around and give whomever’s approaching one of these. And they like it so much, they fall on their butts and rapidly crab-walk backwards in appreciation.
Body Snatchers Point GIF
Alt: Donald Sutherland from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. He has a horrified/horrifying expression on his face and he’s pointing directly at YOU.
media.tenor.com
If wishes were horses, a bunch of horses would gallop to your house with magic Tylenol that cures all ailments in a pretty package that says “From Rob.”
(Continued best wishes, Quinn.)
Ever have a stubborn booger, so you blow your nose really hard again and again and finally feel it come out but you when you look in the tissue, you don’t see it? But then later you discover where it went? Me neither. Shut up.
Very cool. On a related note, I was a fan of Quiznos and went to one near my office regularly. As a vegetarian, there was pretty much only one option for me and they got to know me well enough that I wouldn’t have to order. But, like most restaurants I enjoy, fate took it away from me eventually.
Ha, ha! You’re so right, Will. That’s nasty. BTW, where are these places so I, uhhhhhh, can avoid them?
Am I disappointed? Sure. But can I honestly say I disagree with brainworm’s review? 😔
Well then, feast your peepers on this powerfully poignant pooem. 🐕 💩 👀
Happy birthday, @paxholley.bsky.social!
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to be more flexible with my goals.
I’m gonna listen, too. (And then I’m gonna find their album, Has Been and listen to that.)
If I had to briefly describe this one, I’d say it starts with a bang and never lets up.
Commander Pavel Chekov does not find your brain vorm jokes wery funny. 🧠 🪱 🚫🖖
